just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
