...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
