I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
