i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Randomize
