I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
