Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
