Charged a drink to your name last night. Thanks for the whiskey
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Randomize
