I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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