i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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