it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
