I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
two words: fractured penis. two more: emergency room.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
Siri makes being stoned even easier. I don't even Have to type my texts myself
Though I typed a half of that one
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Maybe is for pussies. We only say yes in this household
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
