Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
No The bastards made me buy a new one, They don't cover water damage an apparently they consider salsa water damage
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
