O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Please tell me how I woke up out in the middle of nowhere wearing nothing but a hard hat and a man thong?
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
NASCAR RACE 2010 NO REGRETZZZ!!!
It is literally 8 in the morning.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I need my daily rules like rule one don't put your dick in the vacuum cleaner
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
Randomize
