Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Dude, you flipped off a cat from my balcony and yelled at it to get a house
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
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