8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
I need mimosas to revive my soul
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
