Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
she's drunk at 2 in the afternoon again. at least my mother is predictable.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
