This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
