Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
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