The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize
