You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
When I say rough sex, and show you scars from past encounters, pulling my hair a little IS NOT GOING TO CUT IT. And he just doesn't understand.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
Randomize
