That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I know but we're going to blackout city so it'll probably be warm there
I need to wash the frat house off of me
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
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