So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
