My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
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