literally had 100 drinks last night.
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize
