Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize