My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
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