it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
