My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
Barsexuality is the new black.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I'm trying to fuck him and feed him. I don't understand why it isn't working.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
