I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
