using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
Randomize
