you're like a bully in the Christmas story
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
