And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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