his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
It'll be a Christmas-Fucking-Miracle if we get through the ceremony without a groomsman vomming
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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