Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Some bitch is passed out in a pool of vomit. Fucking lightweight, it's only 8.30.
Oh, wait.. That's you.
when i woke up w mysterious sticky crap in my hair, i assumed i had another blackout hookup. nope. turns out i made PBJ and proceeded to pass out in it. i ate the evidence when i woke up.
Randomize
