did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
