so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
