Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
