it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Just so everyone's clear, it was already on fire when I got there.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
