The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Lmfao a voicemail screaming about you partying with your tits out and a text at 3 am saying you went too crazy... this should be a good one
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
