Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Do vagina's smell?
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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