i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
