No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
