that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
The only thing better than Call of Duty is getting jerked off while playing Call of Duty.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
I ended up staying at a police station for being a witness in a public masturbation case..NOW do you believe me that I've never had a good St. Patrick's Day?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
