he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just went trick or treating in my kitchen. Found chocolate and scotch. Happy fucking Halloween
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
I didn't know where you were for like 15 minutes and then I went in the bathroom splashing water on the mirror and throwing hand towels around saying that you were "redecorating"
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
