I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
how are you shocked you fucked her? sure shes hot, but she also washed your beerpong balls in her mouth..... you should probably get tested.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
