just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize