I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
You need a sexual gate keeper
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
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