We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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