honey bunches of taint.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Fine I’ll come with you but you better tell that guy to wear some longer shorts because the second I see a rogue nut I’m gone
Randomize
