whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
better question... why wasnt i wearing a cape the previous 20 years of my life???
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
