If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
