I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Randomize