I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
if i ever get hit by a car or something and become paralyzed promise me youll still be here to hand feed me shots and light my bowls please
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
