Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
She narrowed it down to 7 guys that could have gotten her pregnant.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
You pole danced in your parka.
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
Randomize
