Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
My chemistry professor just asked me if I ever found a ride home from the bar last Saturday
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Randomize
