you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
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