oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
Randomize
