Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Randomize
