I faked an abortion last night.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
