I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
