how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
Randomize
