CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Do it!! We better have a duck by the time I get home.
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