I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
