Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
i now understand why vodka
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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