He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Dude I wanna go on a booze cruise
Dude our life is a booze cruise
But without boats...
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
Possibly threw up in my purse last night. Still suspicious of of all actions
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Randomize
