okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
why is my forehead so bruised?
i found you outside knocking on the door with your head because you couldn't lift your arms.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Randomize
