i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
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