remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
You smell like a Billy Joel song
My T9 Word has dryhumped saved but I can't even get it to figure out bbq.
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
A girl just asked me if we had pregnancy tests and a coworker had to stop me from telling her I was a pregnancy test. THAT is why I don't drink at work.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize