she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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