Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
You came into my room at 3am.. drunk.. and asked to do spanish homework together. Props for being a good student.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
He's balder, I'm skinnier. I win. I. Win.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
Randomize
