ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
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