New requirements. My future husband must have a nose ring and wear headbands.
We are no longer friends.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
he threw my burrito on the ground and said im too drunk. fuck that guy.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
there is a naked boy in my bed & you just need to kick him out because i do NOT want to see him when i'm sober.
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