How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Every fourth of July I get sentimental when I think back to the one where we drove around baked off our asses crashing multiple cookouts listening to Team America's "America, Fuck Yea" on repeat. I miss us.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
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