Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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