Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
