I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
You were trust falling into bushes
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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