We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just quoted part of the Pokemon theme song in a sext... And it worked
Randomize
