no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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