I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
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