3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
i literally laid in bad for an hour last night thinking of what i'm going to name my cats when i become a cat lady.
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
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