Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
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