Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
woman puking in liquor store parking lot at 9:30 on a tuesday morning = best commute ever.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
apparently i'm the only person who has heard from her since saturday. she texted me "burt reynolds" at 2am sunday
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Randomize
