Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
he ate me out like 4 times and told me that my vagina "was too much fun".
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
I just found out why people like handcuffs.
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
